Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Intention vs. Attention

I just got off the phone with my cousin, as per our discussion, we found it is interesting how most people post on social media all the good in their lives, and use that as a way to formulate a perfect family/personal image, if you will. By most people, I mean me. I totally do that!!! Everyone always sees a the good in my life, and if I don't have anything really cute or super fun to share, I don't.

So, what stops us from "sharing" our lives? I personally don't like sharing curtain events on social media, because it is that. It's social news, blasted to everyone that follows you or you follow in a matter of seconds. If you talk to me in person, I most likely already admitted most of my daily flaws to you. So true!!! In short, you probably wont ever see me post status updates of my annoyances and grievances, which I have many; but if you read this blog, you'll probably realize that I'm not picture perfect, and I live a daily struggle and battle to be a better version of myself.
The struggle is real, my friends!!! It is really hard, and most of the time, I'm not winning.

Anyway, one thing I've been deep in thought lately is the concept of intention vs. attention. I came across this topic when analyzing my feelings for a loss. I lost a friendship a couple years back over a silly rumor. At the time, this rumor wasn't silly at all. It devastated me because my integrity was being put to question, by a close friend who I thought really knew me. I, and my husband can recall, remember crying over this friendship diminishing. As of late, this once dear friend has been having a lot of life changing events that I normally would have been part of, and I'm not. Even though, it had been a couple years ago, it still kind of hurts. Why is that?

 Was it because I had established some elevated status as a close friend, and should know every detail of someone else's life?" (being nosy) Was it because I should be there partaking of some of the goodies at the party that was held without my presence? (jealousy) Or was it because even though it had been a couple years, I still wanted to be there for them? (genuine emotions or love)

I literally asked myself these questions. Sometimes, we do things for "attention", and wanting to engage, interact, and be a part of something, to be noticed. Sometimes, we do things because our "intentions" are pure, and we aren't doing them for ourselves, but rather to share genuine emotions for others.

I'm so guilty of posting things on the internet for attention, No going to lie, when I post pictures of my kids smiling in what I think are cute outfits, I love my kids, but I totally enjoy looking at the likes on the picture or comments. Most of the time, I don't post things that are super personal to me, such as feeling extra sad because I miss my brother, feeling hurt and frustrated, because I feel like a terrible mom for yelling at my toddler, or sharing how much I love my husband for talking the time to show me I'm special to him.

After much thought and contemplation I have concluded that, if at the root of my intentions isn't to do  or feel something because of love, then it's probably not worth doing or feeling. Also, there is no shame in doing something or feeling a certain way, if I know my intentions are genuine and pure.

Intention vs. Attention
Which will you be doing?

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